Liverpool

Who In Their Right Mind Would Manage Liverpool?

A cosy, beautifully re-furbished flat, in a colourful part of town.

A.K.A: quite probably a dingy, damp squat, a bit of scraggy wall-paper concealing the cracks, piss bucket in the corner and conveniently located in a crime-ridden sleaze pit.

Bubbly, fun girl, late 30s, would like to meet kind man for friendship and maybe more

A.K.A: obese, agonizingly annoying girl, mid 40s, desperate for anyone, or anything.

It’s spin, it’s the bullshit of life; spinning the world around in a whirlwind of cattle faeces.

Liverpool are currently looking for a new manager; there’s been a lot of talk over who it might be. But they’re likely to need to adopt some spin themselves:

A massive club with impeccable history, in a competitive position, boasting world-class stars, a loyal fan-base and two loving landlords, offering potential suitors a fresh challenge on a stimulating budget.

AKA: a big club with impeccable history and a loyal fan-base, crippling debts, exorbitant interest rates, strangulating forces of the current owners suffocating development, uncertainty over the future of key players, cluttered with dead wood, no longer in Champions League, other clubs rapidly closing in… etcetera etcetera.

Ok, I am of course being slightly facetious. Liverpool clearly have some world-class stars and the history and fans stuff is accurate; usually most managers would jump at the opportunity. However, that doesn’t particularly help the current situation. Through their leveraged buyout, Tom Hicks and George Gillett have saddled the club with appalling debts and these are evidently worrying times for Liverpool. The hope must remain that they can rid themselves of the nightmarish Hicks/Gillett co-ownership and secure a takeover as swiftly and painlessly as possible but, for now, potential managers would surely be hesitant.

So, will they be able to find anyone capable of adequately replacing Benitez? (For a look at potential managers, see Liverpool’s new manager). This leads back to the question: who, given the current circumstance, would want to manage Liverpool? Sven has come creeping out the woodwork, telling tales of his life-long love for Liverpool, gulp…

 (Bookies still have O’Neill as favourite, Hodgson a close second, then Dalglish and Sven)

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Liverpool’s new manager

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