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World Cup Cuties – USA’s Christina Hendricks

The long running ‘special relationship’ with America: what’s in it for me, eh?

We disenfranchised paupers just get dragged along with no active participation, often never even encountering one of these curious American creatures in the flesh.

Well I have a new diplomatic treaty which should be rushed through; let’s make this special relationship a little more personal. Ahead of the World Cup showdown, each of us gets assigned our very own American ‘special relationship’ friend.

Given the population ratio it would of course mean many an American per Brit, which admittedly could become a little problematic and tiresome. But that’s the gamble, you could (God forbid) get Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton or, if your very, very lucky, you could get Christina Hendricks (apart from you can’t; I’ve already turned around, touched the ground and bagsied her). A successful actress – most notably playing femme fatal secretary Joan Holloway in cult series Mad Men – and voted ‘sexiest woman in the world’ in a 2010 Esquire magazine poll, the voluptuous vixen is the kind of woman wars are fought over. Now, I’m not one to get carried away and to kick with the fray, but with beautiful striking features, an hourglass figure and other considerable ‘assets’ (oh, said the actress to the bishop), I’ve kind of fallen in love with Christina a little bit, so just you back off! I’m on my way to Uncle Sam’s now to get the deal forced through; it could literally be the most important piece of legislation the world has ever seen…

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