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Hunt On For Portsmouth Fan

Are you the Portsmouth fan that they’re after? Cos we is a hirin’.This is the card in the newsagent’s window. This is the Wonka Bar you’ve been waiting for.

As part of the vertible kaleidoscope of Portsmouth footballing fun and hi jinkery in general we’re looking for match reporters. You might be a season ticket holder, you might be some grotesque and obese couch bound sloth living in a high rised flat on Coco Pops and chip sandwiches but have 327 channels on your telly box. Hell you could be a steward with eyes in the back of his (or her) head. You see, we’re an equal opportunity employer. We won’t descriminate against you, no matter how sorry your private life is.

What we are in need of is a Portsmouth fan who can write. Nothing fancy, so don’t go discounting yourself because you were sent to work down t’pit at the age of 7 and never didn’t get no fancy college degrees.

Everyone we are told, is entitled to their opinion, But is your opinion worth sharing with others? Are you worth a read?

If so, then this is a pretty unique opportunity to get read. The Tavern has solid readership figures and this would be the fast track to a big audience. No starting a blog and hoping your spamming of a few message boards is discreet enough no one tells you to do one, yet noticable enough to bring you a few readers.

Nope, kiss goodbye the long hard slog of the wanabe Portsmouth blogger and step straight into the jet set. There is no salary. There is no pressure and there is no risk. The reward is not just the satisfaction of potentially thousands reading wot you did write, but also the potential that such accreditation could bring.

There is of course no guarantee you’ll get published. Many hear the call, few are chosen.

Did you hear the one about the blogger who got paid for blogging? Did you hear the one about the blogger who got  book deal?

If you feel you’d absolutely storm it and outgrow our threadbare operation within a fortnight on your way to Hollywood, or simply think you wouldn’t mind giving it a try, then let us know.

As in the opener, you can be anyone. The guy in the executive suite or the girl in the three jumpers in the cheap seats. You could even be watching it at home on a dodgy stream, naked. We really don’t care!

Match reports, player ratings, opinion pieces. They’re all welcome. So email me.

Escapini@footballtransfertavern.com

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