Arsenal

The Tavern’s Top Five Footy Drug Cheats!

Adrian Mutu out on another bender

1. Adrian Mutu

Mutu is without doubt one of the most prolific drugs cheats, having failed tests at both Chelsea and Fiorentina. In 2004 the former Chelsea player was found positive for cocaine, whilst at Fiorentina, Mutu had been using metabolics of sibutramine, often used as an appetite suppressant in treatments for obesity.

Mutu was well known to enjoy the West End nightlife, and I can only assume that this picture (left) was taken after a night of typical debauchery with the Chelsea team. The scoudrel!

2. Diego Maradona

Argentina manager Diego Maradona has not always been a pantheon of sporting justice. In fact, believe it or not, in the picture to your left, Maradona was dosed up to his eyeballs on ephedrine. Apparently, ephedrine provides an increased amount of energy and alertness. Well, Diego certainly looks ‘alert’ here, after scoring against Greece in the 1994 World Cup.

Hola Chicos!

3. Rio Ferdinand

Ok, Rio never tested positive for drugs, but he did miss a drugs test in October 2003, and so was banned from football for eight months.

Rio claims he totally forgot because he was moving house and went shopping after training instead of taking the test.

Sounds fair enough to me, Rio is obviously a sound, down to earth kind of guy, as this picture of Rio proves as he wanders round the Trafford Centre last summer.

4. Paddy Kenny

Many had suspected that Paddy Kenny had been on drugs for some time-how else could he have maintained such a physique without steroids?

However, it must have been all Pady’s work, because in fact, in September 2009, Kenny was found guilty of taking the banned substance ephedrine after a drugs test in a play-off match with Preston on 11 May 2009. Kenny had apparently mistakingly taken the substance whilst attempting to fight off a common cold with a flu remedy… bit harsh, but that’ll teach him for getting a runny nose! What a cheat, jails too good for this fella, send him to Iraq! Well done to the FA.

5. Mark Bosnich

Right kids. See that dodgy blue shirt, the sweat stained forehead and bloated belly? That’s why you shouldn’t use up to ten grams of cocaine a day.

Whilst ‘Bozza’ was playing for Chelsea, the Socceroos ‘keeper tested positive for the white lady, and now I can sadly report that Bosnich is bankrupt. However, at least he got rid of Sophie Anderton.

Well there you have it. Drugs are bad. We shouldn’t use drugs, and these football players should all have known better, and have faced the consequences of their actions… except Rio who is now England Captain. But it’s ok, the FA got Paddy Kenny, the bounder! I still can’t believe he was using Benylin cold and flu. Still the highs must have been amazing, so it was probably worth a nine-month ban. I bet he got a real perspective on life man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHUhMjhH4sQ&feature=related

You can find me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/mark0turner

To Top