Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

1 min readPublished 7 Mar 2010, 17:54Updated 7 Mar 2010, 18:05

Chelsea Football Club

Chelsea Captain In Fulham Road Barney

This in then from our roving Chelsea reporter in the time expired Hush Puppies and the Next To Nothing trousers. Walking back towards the Durrell Arms public house, our man spots Mr. John Terry is spotted driving up the Fulham Road in his Range Rover.

The Chelsea Supremo, instead of just driving past and ignoring it, pulls his car up to a halt, winds down his electric windows and starts trading four letter word insults with all an sundry, sticks a one fingered salute and finally shouts, ‘ You’re All W*nkers!!!” before roaring off like a boy racer.

John, your performance against Egypt was good.

Your goal today was great. Shouting at people in the street isn’t.