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April Fool – Alan Hutton

There have been allegations made about Alan Hutton that for legal reasons we won’t be perpetuating here. But suffice to say, a man that duffs up his own father in broad daylight is unquestionably experiencing what medical experts would refer to as a chemical imbalance.

And so the Hun goes on. Not content with being loaned out to Sunderland, he’s been waxing lyrical to t’Sunderland Echo.

“Darren has done brilliantly, so more fool Spurs for letting him go, Sunderland are getting the best out of Darren because he is playing regularly here. There’s another guy who, for whatever reason, didn’t have the best of times at Tottenham but he’s left there, come here to play week-in and week-out and is scoring lots of goals.”

The footballing supremo continued…

“Darren’s just as good as either of them (Defoe and Crouch). His goalcoring ability and pace is unbelievable – he’s got everything a striker needs. Darren is just as good as the likes of Defoe, so I don’t see why he shouldn’t go to the World Cup. I’d take him if I was the England manager, definitely.”

Said Scotsman Hutton. I suggest we Ebay this tiresome sweaty, asap.

Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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