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*Exclusive* Arsenal Reveal New Scout

This just in from the front line.

There have been question marks over Le Arsenal this season. Uncle Arsene remains largely unimpeachable in my opinion, but there have been serious doubts over the purchases that the Gunners might have, ought to have made.

Perhaps this one, singular, focused young man can multitask and meet the problem head on.

Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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