So the cold, dark winter months are finally behind us, and the January sales are well and truly over. Now we can all start looking forward to the days getting longer, the temperature getting warmer and the long, hot Summer transfer window. Here are 5 serious (and one not so serious) transfer attempts to look out for this August.
1) Manchester United Sign Replacement for Van Der Sar – This is the obvious one. I’ve written on here before that United need to find a decent replacement for the Dutchman, otherwise they’re in danger of another Barthez et al style fiasco.
A number of names have already been said to be on Fergie’s shopping list, including Manuel Neur and Maarten Stekelenburg, but reports today have suggested that Sir Alex might launch a bid for Liverpool’s Pepe Reina, with a £28 million fee to prise the Spaniard away from Anfield.
2) Drogba to leave Chelsea – It looks like after 7 years at Chelsea, Drogba may have been deemed surplus to requirements by Roman Abramovich. He will be one of a number of Chelsea players set to leave in Summer, as Roman attempts to recoup some of the losses he made during January’s transfer window.
Drogba is a player who divides opinion; you either see him as an unplayable, footballing genius or a dirty, cheating, diving, whining excuse for a striker. I, for one, believe him to be one of the best foreign players we’ve seen in the Premiership and certainly the best African player the league has seen. Don’t expect him to stay in England, Galatasaray are already reported to be making an offer for the Ivorian international.
3) Arsenal to sign a decent keeper – This summer it’s all going to be about NAVY BLUE…..oh, sorry, that’s for my fashion column….ahem, this summer’s transfer window is all going to be about goalies, and Arsenal will be looking to strengthen their squad with a move for a half-decent one. Shay Given, who’s struggled at Manchester City since leaving Newcastle, is the name being thrown around.
At one time, Given was arguably the best keeper outside of he top-4 and Wenger was supposed to very interested in him during January, but failed to make a bid. Don’t expect him to make the same mistake twice.
4) David Beckham to finally sign for Spurs – Don’t worry if you miss this article, this story is going to run and run throughout the summer. Redknapp has spoken about how much he’d love to have HRH Golden-Balls at White Hart Lane, and he may finally get his wish when the MLS winds up in November.
Quite what role he’ll play at Spurs is another matter. It doesn’t even matter if this prediction turns out to be wrong, because we’ll all get good copy out of ‘Arry as he talks about the impending signing for the next….ooo….25 years.
5) Elvis Presly signs for Blackpool – Following his return to Earth in June, Elvis will stun his fans by announcing that at 75 he wants to take up Premiership football for a bit. The only man brave enough (or crazy enough to believe this nonsense) will be Blackpool’s Ian Holloway who will offer the King free rides on the Big Dipper and all the burgers and chips he can eat.
Seeing the success of the deal, Kenny Dalglish will pay £60 million for Shergar and play him up front with Andy Carroll. Shergar will be quoted as saying, ‘It’s a dream move for me,’ before being sold for dog-food by an angry Luis Suarez.
Did you spot the red-herring? Of course you did….Beckham won’t sign for Spurs!!
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About the Author
We’ve (Arsenal) got Chesney who is our number 1 for years to come. So you’ve failed with your article my dear boy.
Second that. Journalists are piss poor these days.
Third your arrogance.
4 goals conceded and a yellow card in the space of 20 minutes, against a team who couldn’t manage one against Mark Schwarzer. I’d say that’s a fail, wouldn’t you, dear boy?
Journalists are piss poor, so are Arsenal goalies.
Top keeper. Proved that to day. The penalty that went in to start the comes back certainly wasnt their “One and only” goal was it haha. Whats that? 3-0 in 10mins to fuck it up lol
A lot of Arsenal fan have disappeared lately…what happened? Even Piers Morgan’s Twitter has gone quiet.
Every season they rave, every season it’s the same mistakes and a self destruct. Fail loop.
You’re right you know, Beckham won’t sign for spurs in the summer, mainly cos November isn’t in the summer….
Not saying that he will or not, just pointing out your not so clever article.
He’s bound to sign, commercially it’s a no brainer and the Beckham Brand will get plenty of media time so good for them to.
here’s one for you… drogba will leave chelski… but not for a turkish side but for.. spurs.
you saw it here first.
Im an Arsenal fan and know that we dont need a new keeper, and also have faith that Wenger also knows this.
Also Reina will not go to Man Utd while he still is under contract, it would cost them in the region of 100 mil.
As Kenny Dalglesh would rather live the rest of his life nakid than sell anything or anyone to Man Utd.
A chimp could’ve written a better article than this tosh.
Can we get you a pen or a banana?
for sure i dont know wat is all about coz no much i expect in transfer window arsenal bloodie
You should put ” Free Money Here ” on your next header………Ridiculous
That’s a terrible thing for a man in a country that’s a Bazillion €’s in debt to say ;
I’ll give you that one 🙂
Good man, only kidding. Cheers 🙂
Seriously Brilliant well written article, Well done mate.
You are very funny and should do stand up or replace Stephen Fry on I.Q, I’m still bleeding from your razor sharp wit…
If QI don’t take you up, I need a draft excluder.
The offer is there.
I’m an idiot. Sorry.