Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Is City’s Peter Fletcher The Biggest Loser In Football?

Manchester City managed to spoil their title win thanks to the insane jobsworth behaviour of Peter Fletcher, the club’s Stadium Security & Safety Manager.

As the whistle blew for full time, Joe Hart walloped the ball into the crowd. A 17 year old boy close to the disabled section caught the ball. You can imagine how delighted he must have been. He made no secret of his prize and even contacted the Mirror newspaper to see if there was a chance a celebratory snap being published.

But unknown to the boy, Fletcher had initiated a man hunt using CCTV footage and identified the occupant of the seat where the ball landed and called in the police claiming that the boy had stolen MCFC property.

The coppers duly obliged, located the boy and arrested him. As they take the boy away he is told that they are going to see Peter Fletcher and upon arriving at the Club’s offices; Fletcher reads the boy the riot act.

The ball is returned by 5pm that day or he will be banned from Manchester City games home and away. Essentially threatened with being treated like a hardcore football hooligan.

Upon returning home the boys father rings Fletcher and informs him that in actual fact the ball, once full time is blown, returns to being property of The Premier League.

The father has told Fletcher that the ball can be returned, but wants the details of the police officers that seemingly ‘arrested’ then ‘un-arrested’ his son so he can make an official complaint.

A police spokesman told the Manchester Evening News,  “It was decided the most appropriate course of action was to use Restorative Justice, so the boy was taken to the Etihad Stadium where he met with security staff and the matter is being resolved.”

Hasn’t Peter Fletcher got anything useful he could be doing, like picking up litter or something?

Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

View all articles →

related.