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Arsenal Arshavin Exclusive

Escapini 13 March 2010, 8:46 3 minutes read

Oh my dear god. It’s times like this I yearn for the good old bad days. You knew where you were with footballers. All you did was ask them how they felt and they simply responded that they were either ‘sick as a parrot’ or alternatively, ‘over the moon’. You knew where you were. Arsenal wing man cum second striker Andrey Arshavin has joined the mentalist jet set of footballers who feel that they are able to pronounce on wider issues.

Did Arsenal realise they had signed not only a footballer, but a spiritual leader of our times? These the are extracts from the boy’s very own web site called The Andrey Arshavin Official Web Site, which is located here: http://www.arshavin.eu/en/news.php?id=517

1. From iloveme
Andrey, what do you think people need pain for?
Arshavin
: For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.

2. From tasha100 know,
You know sometimes I feel so down. What shall I do?
Arshavin
: Try to overcome this situation. Think that after this bad streak, there’s definitely going to be a good one. Despondency is a sin.

7. From RinaBeer
Hi. I am 25 years old and I’m still not married. My parents are very upset about this. They say I can end up a spinster. But I don’t want to get married yet. What shall I do? (Sorry if this is off topic; just
want to know your opinion)
Arshavin
: I think I can help you.
Step 1: You need to find a scruffy heavy drinker.
Step 2: Once you’ve found him, try to persuade him to “marry” you. I think that for a small amount of money, he will agree to fulfill the role of your fiancé 🙂
Final: Bring this guy home. Tell your parents he’ll live with you 😉
I think next time they will think better before forcing their opinion on you.

8. From 1009
Hello, Andrey! What would you prefer as a gift –
1. A lot of balloons
2. A million scarlet roses
3. Something else, more down-to-earth or more expensive
Thank you for your reply!
Hi to Julia and the kids!!!!!!!!!!
Arshavin
: A million kisses from the people I love.

10. From finta
Does anybody go in for sports in your family?
Arshavin
: Me.

14. From lambada
Hi, Andrey, in what order would you place the following animals: a tiger, a cow, a pig, a horse, a sheep?
Arshavin
: A pig – it will always get the last place! A tiger, a cow, a horse, a sheep. And I’ll repeat that a pig is always the last one, because it is a pig.

And they say that light entertainment is dead. They ought to put young Andrey in charge of that Arsenal – ization thing they’ve got going on over there. He’d have the place rocking by teatime.

About the Author

Escapini

Subscriber

Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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