Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

1 min readPublished 6 Dec 2010, 16:05Updated 1 Jan 2011, 09:21

Premier League

Mike Ashley’s Manager Wishlist Leaked

The Footballing World has been shaken to it’s very foundations in the Durham area today as Mike Ashley’s secret wish list was discovered by a waiter in the Star Of BungAll Indian restaurant in Newcastle.

Chris Hughton has done a sterling job at St James’. His bouncebackability rating is nine over ten all day long. He was the assistant to 37 managers in his time at Tottenham and his time at Newcastle showed that Spurs were right to retain his services for so long. He has demonstrated great man management skills and was voted Man Of The Millenium by Staples in Gateshead.

One look at the list only reiterates the desire for an appointment of a new Newcastle United manager with more gravitas and more experience. Mike wants sexy back.