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Andrei Shevchenko was, for a while anyway, a household name in British football. He blazed into Stamford Bridge as the next big thing. If the next big thing was an occasionally rather awkward donkey who didn’t score many goals then he certainly lived up to the hype.

Thankfully it was the idea of Chelsea’s money man, Abramovich, so the buck, or in this case, the rather large pile of bucks stopped with the main man.

After a series on injuries, possibly caused by hiding in ever more inventive and difficult to discover spots when it came to match time, he was eventually loaned to AC where the poor old dear failed to score once in 18 games.

Now he’s back where it all began at Dynmao Kyiv wher he is slowly regaining some degree of form. If only all of us could find comfort in the arms of a cracker like his missus Kristen in such troubled times.

He was accused by Berlusconi of being a lap dog to his wife. Jealousy’s a sorrow to see, isn’t it?

Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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