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Escapini’s Weekend Predictor – Make Money & Friends By Passing Off My Wisdom As Your Own…

Arsenal vs West Ham

Allowing Newcastle to take all three points from you at home when you are bottom of the league kind of indicates you’ve got problems. The look on Carlton Cole’s face when he scored a pretty uninspiring goal also spoke volumes. The poor guy looked like he had discovered how to turn potatoes into gold.

Arsenal are in the sort of form that could turn this into a basketball score.

Prediction 6-0

Blackburn vs Chelsea

I don’t have psychic powers but this looks rather predictable. Unlike West Ham, Blackburn are far more well versed in dragging out the process of getting thumped and they are at home…so the goals may well come late but come they shall…

Prediction 0-3


Everton vs Stoke

No two ways about it Everton have their tails up at the moment and with home advantage they ought to do more than nudge a win here. Stokehave put in some solid performances and will come looking for a point.

Prediction 1-0

Wolves vs Man City

City will have their hands full. So what. If they are serious about all the money that’s been spent then this is 3 points. If they wish to be seen as chancers then this is 1 point. Harsh? Well this is precisely the sort of game Tottenham, Everton or Villa would screw up.

Prediction 0-2

Man Utd vs Tottenham

Whaddya mean it has 2-1 written through it like a stick of rock? You may well be right. Spurs have Van der Vaart. Utd have Rooney in Dubai. I’d call that close to even. United won’t back down and Hernandez is set for greatness.

Prediction 2-1

Aston Villa vs Birmingham

Oooh this could be dull. A dull derby. Duller than wee Willy McDull doing a sponsored Dullathon on St. Dull’s Day. Gerard Houllier needs to stamp his mark on Aston Villa. He currently has the feel of an absentee landlord. By comparison, McLeish is giving every impression of a very committed manager. Villa’s to lose.

Prediction 1-2

Newcastle vs Sunderland

This will make for plenty of heated er.. heatedness. Sunderland seem to be running at 60% of full steam. Newcastle at 90% full steam, but without the gumption to make it count. As ever, lots at stake beyond the points.

Prediction 3-1


Bolton vs Liverpool

Poor old Roy. It’s going to be a long while before he’s left alone to manage and a longer while probably before he has a team in front of him who are playing with any degree of genuine confidence. Bolton will do what Bolton do. If Liverpool lose you don’t need me to tell you what the media vibe will be.

Prediction 1-1

Blackpool vs West Brom

Games like these don’t exactly define seasons, but they certainly generate hugely valuable points. I guess it’s like a scent marking exercise – like when a dog blesses a lampost. West Brom are in great form. Blackpool are quite simply – nutters.

Prediction 3-1


Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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