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Leaked: Fergie’s Promises To Rooney

Interesting times at Old Trafford.

Sir Alex is branded a master tactician as he essentially gives young Wazza whatever he asks for. In return he gets a signature written in sand and an option to refer to him as ‘the boy’ on the telly. Masterful stuff, indeed.

So what else did Sir Alex promise the pasty faced ponce?

1. There IS a transfer budget. Ferguson’s ambitions were stalled in the last window, but this was combined with certain players just simply not being available. Another element in the equation is that Fergie will not want to do anything to jeopardize his pension from the Glasers.

The figure Wazz was quoted for players was, ‘more than the Ronaldo money’.

2. Jordan Henderson is a done deal, however Karim Benzema is THE number one target and the plan is no more sophisticated than that employed on Wazz. Hurl lots and lots of money at, ‘the boy’.

3. We’ll bury you in money and forget all about that cr*p you spouted as your agent operated you like a ventriloquist’s dummy.


Well now, when it comes to football, one man has for many years been the most noticeable, the most controversial, and occasionally the most successful blogger this country has ever produced. His pithy words and abrasive style make him as famous off the pitch as he is on it. This man is Escapini. "I love football. Football she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's an errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring a kettle to the boil." "Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about, is football."

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